Black Sheep-why did I label myself; and why, at an early age, did I choose a label that was so self-deprecating? Because I knew that the only way to rekindle life in a nation driven to quiet despair was to get myself dirty. I used socialism's worst qualities against it. I preyed on the power-hungry, and I played the bureaucratic game against itself. A few people died in the process, and I had to accept the responsibility for their deaths, even if they would not have done the same for mine.

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At one point in my life, I became aware of the uniqueness of my own personality. I became aware that I would do whatever was necessary to breathe life back into the country, yet I would suffer regret for the people whose blood I spilled along the way, no matter how nasty they were. It made the Underground, my black market, all the dearer to me because I paid for it with my regret.

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Lord, do what you will to me, but save the Underground or preserve enough of it that, if it dies in the hands of my grandchild, it might be resurrected. And, Lord, if that jackass does attempt to destroy all my work, bless him with a ton of boils all over that smarmy, white-faced, know-it-all body of his.

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Black Sheep (and His Descendants)

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