9781462839612_

In an upscale high school classroom, somewhere in Beverly Hills, California, Dr. Corpusel is teaching math to his gifted students. Dr. Corpusel grabs the nearest student, drags her from her seat and asks her a story problem. She answers the question quickly and correctly, which is not what Dr. Corpusel wants her to do. He pulls a handgun from his jacket and blows her head off.

During Dr. Corpusels incarceration, he writes the following to his wife, Bridget Corpusel:

I have come to the realization that I alone am the founder of conversational reality. A term with no boundaries. A bicycle with four pedals. A salt shaker with no holes. Yellow paper with, HELP written in yellow ink. I have discovered the link to the past by thought and contemplation. No student of math with ever be competent enough to make reference, or judge a conclusion by scientific theory or fact. I alone have endured the pain that much be acknowledged before the truth is discovered. The wasted years of lying to students about their talent is over. The Nobel Peace Prize is all about mine. Countries will bow to my immediate presence.

The main character is Dr. Corpusels son, Nicholas Corpusel. Nicholas is a well-established writer in his late 30s, who wants to give up his writing career to become an actor. To achieve this transaction Nicholas has to (1) get rid of his quirky girlfriend, Leeza; (2) deal with his neurotic cat (named Dr. Travesty); (3) sell his latest and last novel entitled, The Brown Bag Stereo; and (4) keep from losing his mind.

Throughout the novel, Nicholas finds himself in various predicaments which usually requires the assistance of others. The following occurs when Nicholas innocently tries to visit his father at Shady Lanes, a mental therapy house:

The guards left him alone to wander down through the maze of hallways. Nicholas assured them that he knew where he was going, even though he had no idea. He found himself in the middle of the women's isolation ward. He was a bit nervous being around hundreds of extremely mean, horny women. He had read about women in prisons before and had pictured the carnage in which could have erupted at any moment, but he wasnt exactly sure how it would or could take place. Just as the thought faded, the door locked behind him and Nicholas realized he was trapped. Trapped in a room with at least twelve women. Then, the thing that Nicholas had feared most happened.

"You hold him down and I'll fuck the living shit out of him!"

Nicholas freaked at the way that the women were looking at him.

"HELP!" screamed Nicholas as he pounded on the door. The women kept circling him like terriers circling a baby lamb before the slaughter. The smell of blood was in the air.

"Help, you fucking morons!"

The Leader of the pack lunged at Nicholas as the door flew open. The guard on duty in that sector had saved Nicholas. The guard just happened to be making his Prozac rounds.

"What the hell were you doing over here?"

"Lost," replied Nicholas in an extremely relieved voice.

Nicholas had fantasized about having multiple women at one time, but this was entirely different. These women were mean and reminded him of the clientele of a northern Michigan Wal Mart store on a twenty percent off Sunday. Nicholas loved women so much that he even considered himself a lesbian trapped in a man's body. He was not into forced sex by any means. All fantasies aside.

Despite numerous times where Nicholas slips into incoherent babbling, reminiscent of his father, Nicholas lands his first role

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During Dr. Corpusels incarceration, he writes the following to his wife, Bridget Corpusel:

The guards left him alone to wander down through the maze of hallways. Nicholas assured them that he knew where he was going, even though he had no idea. He found himself in the middle of the womens isolation ward. He was a bit nervous being around hundreds of extremely mean, horny women. He had read about women in prisons before and had pictured the carnage in which could have erupted at any moment, but he wasnt exactly sure how it would or could take place. Just as the thought faded, the door locked behind him and Nicholas realized he was trapped. Trapped in a room with at least twelve women. Then, the thing that Nicholas had feared most happened.

"You hold him down and Ill fuck the living shit out of him!"