Inspector Ryken really doesn’t want to audit your spaceship. Unfortunately, it’s his job.

As a member of the elite Bureau of Necessary Intervention, he has to judge the viability of Steadings: fringe communities made up of people sick of utopia. But Ryken is burnt out, his ship's computer has just hit the EDM listening, door slamming stage of robot puberty, and he is one incident away from being quietly fired. He needs an easy job.

When he gets to his new posting at Mossy Point he quickly realises it’s far from easy. There’s a drug dealing robot postman, the world’s most famous video game designer who has no idea she’s famous, a teenage girl who won’t stop following him, and the glitchy sentient intelligence running the whole spaceship. The more he investigates the less he understands. One thing is for sure, every steader onboard Mossy Point has something to hide.

Ryken faces a choice: go off book and throw in with the loveable misfits or lean into the bureaucracy of a utopia he no longer feels a part of. Either way, it’s going to be a lot of paperwork.

A funny, surprisingly tender novel about found family, making things that matter, and the strange business of finding a home in the last place you wanted to be.

I Really Don’t Want to Audit Your Spaceship

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