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Imagine a parent-child interaction in which you realize how your personality affects your behavior as a parent and how your childs personality interacts with yours. In this situation, you are both winners. No one feels alienated because of personal differences. Awareness of your personality traits provides information that will help you mobilize good parenting strategies. In this way, you will be able to reconcile the differences between you and your child.

It is important to recognize that all personalities are equally significant; none is better than the other. Recognizing that there are alternative worldviews will help you improve your childs self-esteem and allow you to make a connection in ways that you didnt know were possible.

Self-destructive behavior change

We all know that there are personal differences in the world. How often have you caught yourself reacting to someone else and sighing, Well, Im doing it again? When you know your own personal strategy, you are freed from the usual behaviors and the narrow perspective. This knowledge improves the interaction with your child (and others). Such knowledge takes you out of the cell created by your habitual behaviors and opens up to you a precise understanding of the properties of personality.

When you start to become aware of your personal strategy, you realize that this is both your greatest strength as a parent (parent with a personal example) and your greatest weakness (alienation from your child whose motives for his behavior are completely different from yours). This knowledge can free you to become a real guide. As a less dominant parent and by finding ways to encourage your child to be himself, you stop being at the center of your parenting phase and become a mediator in the growth and development of your child.

At first, this change in behavior may seem counterintuitive. But give the dynamics time to develop and the results can be encouraging for you and your child.

Deepen communication with your child

Communication is your essential tool as a parent. Obviously, our personal predisposition is too obvious in the way we communicate. What if the way you inadvertently communicate is the main reason why you maintain or do not keep in touch with your child? For example, lets take a situation in which you are trying to explain to your child that he must be responsible for the consequences of certain actions, such as a careless softball throw and a broken window from a neighbor. A child with the same character as you will understand what you are saying because your mind works the same way. But what about a child with a different personality? The way you communicate can be alienating in itself.

Some parents, whom I call moralizers, communicate through a message focused on details, analysis and morality. In another parenting style, the Assistant style, the main motivation is to meet the needs of the child and reject the consequences of his actions. These parents find it difficult to defend themselves. Parents who are the organizers want to work with the child and establish a schedule of tasks that will help correct the situation. Dreamers seek to establish emotional contact with the child depending on the circumstances and find a creative solution together. Whatever happens next, they want their child to be happy. Observant parents examine the situation as a whole, sit next to the child and try to bring objectivity and perspective to the discussion. Parents who ask questions create a mental argument and come and go with questions, doubts and imagination in the worst case until they make sure that the child has a solid logical basis to understand the situation. Animators prefer a more casual style and have fun with their child. They like anecdotes and leave the conclusions open and multivariate: the child can make choices as to the consequences he prefers. The natural tendency of defenders is to take responsibility defensively, shout at the child, and then fight for him against everyone else. Peacekeepers are guided by their personality to avoid conflict, so this situation is a ploy 22. These parents tend to slow down the discussion of the situation, and then expand

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