What do we miss if we run away from love?

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When Bunny comes home from the hospital after her cancer surgery, she's surprised to find the Universal Barncat Distribution System has sent her a Barncat to help her heal. They fall in love and spend their days together watching for owls and playing board games. With Barncat, Bunny finally feels safe and loved, but too soon, he becomes ill with things that have no cure.

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Terrified of losing her best friend, Bunny retreats into her familiar pattern of fleeing and runs away to the beach. When she falls asleep, she tumbles into the Anticipatory Grief Carnival, which is nestled within the boundaries of The Grief Forest, a mythical, mysterious place where grievers go to have their grief witnessed and validated.

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There, she meets the Belgian Sheepdog Queenie, Carnival Barker and Lover of French Fries, who guides her through her stressful grief response by introducing her to wondrous carnival creatures who are also trapped in their own anxiety patterns. Bunny performs many tasks to help herself and the stuck creatures she meets understand their complex and often contradictory feelings, but her final and most critical test comes at Badger's Tunnel of Unknown Knowns.

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Is Bunny's love for Barncat stronger than her fear of what she can't control? Will she be able to return and stay with him while he's dying, or will her avoidance patterns keep her trapped in the Anticipatory Grief Carnival loop?

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Written for adults, The Grief Carnival, book two in The Grief Forest series, is a journey through anticipatory grief, showcasing various ways this common grief pattern appears. Usually associated with terminal illness, anticipatory grief is a natural response to an impending loss or change. This deep need to control what is uncontrollable can be felt by both the person who is ill and those who love them.

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Bunny's struggle helps us remember that love isn't static. It's more than owls and board games and watching the moon. Love is a decision, constantly asking each of us: how big is your heart?

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The Grief Carnival

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