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The impact of childhood sexual abuse is something few can understand unless theyve been there. It leaves a dark stain within the childs soul, a tangled mass of negative self-beliefs and emotions that can darken a childs happiness throughout their life. This dark place is where Jessica Ways found herself. She had managed to survive a childhood of sexual abuse by a psychopathic half-brother, her cries for help ignored by those who should have come to her aid. At the age of sixteen, she gave birth to her sonhimself a progeny of rape by yet another extended family member. Kicked out of her home by her parents, dismissed as a troubled child by authorities, Jessica found herself staring into the eyes of her three-day-old son, her own happiness lost in self worthlessness and a complete distrust of others. In a single moment, the most important thought of her life bubbled up through the thick, black morass of her emotions...

Hes never seen me smile...

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she woke to the idea that she had been denying her own child the very thing that she craved the most. She swore to him that he would never know anything but love from her. That she would never allow him to feel abandoned, ignored, or abused. It was the beginning of a long journey, one with which she struggled for the first years of his life. Out of desperation, she decided to write a letter to herself. A touching letter in which she asked to find herself, to reach out and end the darkness. She finished and sighed, tears of frustration running down her cheeks. She didnt know what to expect, but it certainly wasnt to look down and see her own hand continuing to writeletters turning into words, words turning into sentencesand her with no idea of what was coming next.

The ensuing conversationa conversation that continues to this dayoffered her deep insights into herself, the human spirit, and even consciousness itself. Her emotional recovery began in earnest, though it took years for her to be willing to see the light within. Today, she is a happy mother of four children and wife to an adoring husband of twenty years. She decided to share these early writings in hopes that they might help others who find themselves lost in that darkness.

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"Hes never seen me smile..."

...

Filtros

Jessica Ways